The fifth and final episode of ‘Black Shuck’ by Duncan Hands – Art and Martha were reunited, but that pesky fisherman has turned up and could ruin everything! Can Martha see him off before they’re discovered? In this, the final episode of the series, what will happen to Art and Martha out on the Norfolk Marshes? Will they make it back with their loot? Will they make it back at all…?
Another couple of clips from 2017’s Scare Slam – Big Eyes by Liam Steward-George (performed by Jessica Brindle), and The Watcher by Joseph Willis
PLUS a couple of clips from 2016’s Scare Slam (so retro) -Lucy’s Tea Party by Molly Beth Morossa, and The Dewey Ones by Ben Whitehead
Chris Lincé – The Scratch
Synopsis – A woman suffering from workplace bullying, discovers a mysterious scratch on her arm.
Intro – Chris is the co-producer and director of Hermetic Arts, whose show BADD (Bothered About Dungeons & Dragons) is at the London Horror Festival at the end of the month. Reece Connolly – The Fatberg of Whitechapel
Synopsis – Told from the perspective of the 130 tonne, 250 m long ‘fatberg’ of cooking oil, wet wipes, nappies, excrement, and other nastiness discovered in a sewer in East London, this piece of comedy-horror spoken
word details their birth, musings, and eventual decision to rise up and take revenge on its human creators who seek to destroy it [or at the very least, convert it into biofuel]. It’s Frankenstein, but a lot smellier.
Intro – Reece Connolly is a writer and theatre-maker based in East London, originally from deepest darkest Northumberland. He grew up next door to a Victorian cemetery in a household of one-eyed cats, dead farmer’s ghosts, garden-fairies, and a thing made of rags that lived in the attic – probably explains why he loves scary stuff so much. He is involved in two production at this year’s London Horror Festival, having written and co-directed MISTER MUSHROOM, and written and directed THE STOMACHING, in which he also performs as a psychotic nun.
Stack 10 Theatre – Murder of Crows
Synopsis – A crow is kicked to death. Crows remember faces, crows hold grudges, and one night a murder of them come for a reckoning.
Info – Stack 10 Theatre have returned to the Scare Slam to bring you more tales from Chiswick, the home of horror and gateway to hell. Dan Weatherer – The Watching Eye
Synopsis – When Tom and Angela buy Wayside Cottage, they’re hoping for an escape from the rat-race, a slower pace of life in the countryside. They might get more than they bargained for…
Info – Award-Winning Staffordshire Based Author/Playwright Author of four collections, two novels (upcoming) a novella on Dr Crippen, ad a book of plays (due 2018) Visit http://www.danweatherer.com for more details
Joseph Willis – The Watcher
Synopsis – When a man discovers a pale figure stood watching his house and a mysterious doll in his child’s possession, his sanity and family’s safety will come into question; as he tries to work out what it wants, and more terrifyingly, what it’s going to do next.
Intro – Born in Sheffield, Joseph studied a Masters in Writing, Directing and Performance at the University of York, before starting his own horror theatre collective ‘Danse Macabre Productions’. His usual work can be categorised as ‘bloody tongue in cheek’ and his piece ‘The Watcher’, is a psychological horror that taps into his irrational fear, that people staring into space, are usually doing anything but.
Liam Steward-George – Big Eyes
Synopsis – Modern look at Little Red Riding Hood set in the context of a club and taxi.
Info – Another moralistic tale about a numpty who gets it all wrong. Just don’t be a dick…
I am reliably informed that love is, once again, all around us. The signs are all there. Personal, handwritten love letters…crudely printed onto cards with a picture of a teddy bear or a heart (which doesn’t even look like an actual heart; anatomically not even close). Love is stupid, apparently.
We are presented with modern tokens of love: chocolate to release endorphins in your partner that you can’t summon up yourself; flowers, an ominous metaphor for your fleeting happiness; a puppy…well that one is quite good actually. Now that those other 364 days are over and you need to prove to your other half that you have a modicum of care and respect for them, here are some cracking suggestions for things to do today, or sometime this week (it’s on a Tuesday this year. The. Worst. Day.):
1. Cirque du Soleil’s, Amaluna
If in doubt, throw some money at it. Cirque’s latest offering is based on The Tempest, that perfect Valentine’s tale. After all, what says love better than living alone on an island with your creepy dad for years, before ending up with Shakespeare’s second most boring lover (the first is Lorenzo in The Merchant of Venice. Obvs.)? So remortgage your home and fork out for a spectacular reminder of all the bodies you will never look like and all the positions your other half will never contort themselves into. And they’re French. That’s romantic.
No this isn’t the title of Donald Trump’s guide to seducing your own daughter. Cicada Studios’ latest offering is a satirical puppetry show, as rude and irreverent as they come. Life isn’t Pixar and this ain’t a kids’ show. At fifty minutes long, that is all the foreplay you will need. Puppet sex is reportedly the latest aphrodisiac. I was going to make a puppet fisting joke here but decided against it; I figured I would be elbow deep in complaints.
Don’t think this needs a blurb really. A dystopian romance, sans the romance. To be fair, the word ‘romance’ is derived from ‘romant’ meaning ‘in the Roman manner.’ So in many ways this show does have romantic themes in it: violence, forward-thinking, sexual aggression, hard to understand language, and back-stabbing individuals. Action to the Word’s version is an all-male sweatfest of energy and pulsating choreography; a visceral and explosive production. Thankfully none of the guys in it are muscly and handsome. Well apart from Jonno Davies. Oh and Seb Charles. Tom Whitelock has a filthy glint in his eye. On second thoughts, for the sake of your relationship, maybe this show isn’t for you…
Now this is a risk for sure. It will require actual social interaction with your partner. I know. Scary. Hopefully you can distract them with the pretty lights and pictures, in this visual spectacular at Chiswick House and Gardens. The ice bar and ice rink will lower the temperature perfectly to the level of your ice-cold heart and frigid relations. Apparently there is also a burning rooster. Something to do with the Zodiac, but more fittingly a metaphor for the burning desolation of your love. But if they can’t appreciate you paying out £18.11 (bizarre pricing system…) to avoid doing any work towards the date yourself, then are they really worth bothering with anyway?
So there you have it, you lazy blighters. A selection of generic events that everyone else will be doing. The spark is alive! So go out there, book into one, and convince yourself you aren’t a terrible human being. Hurrah! My girlfriend is going to kill me for writing this.
Blackshaw Theatre 